Thursday, October 16, 2014

Sorting it all out

October 10, 2014

I am still coming to terms with everything that's happened in the past few days. 
A week ago I was unmeasurabley happy with being pregnant. 
Saturday I was concerned. 
Sunday I was terrified. 
Monday I was heartbroken. 

In the quiet moments where I have my thoughts to myself that's where it's hard. My emotions bubble up and threatened to consume me with unending sadness. I can't let myself drown in my sorrow. I have Ethan to take care of. I want to show Austin I'm strong. I am strong. 

I am not bitter because this happened. I am more me because this happened. I feel more and are deeper and caring because this happened. So many of my friends have supported me because they know how I feel and I just hope I can be support for someone dear to me in the future. 

I feel the lose of my baby. I wonder if their heart even beat strong inside me. I wonder if they ever felt of my love. 

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